What Is Love - February 2019

So this is the Hallmark-appointment month of love.  Let’s embrace it.  And ask the crucial question…. What is love?  Not just romantic passion or infatuation, but actual love.  Here are some people’s answers to this question:

“Love for me is being 100% vulnerable and all the way in.”

“Someone that loves you, loves you because you’re you.”

“Love is the falcon’s flight over your [dry desert] sands.  Because for [the falcon] you are a green field, from which he always returns with game.”  -Paulo Coelho

“Her there on the couch, half her head shaved from surgery, beaten down by the cancer and there with her, my dad.  Patiently.  Just being there to see what he could do to help in any possible way, and if that meant just sitting there to be with her, then that is what he would do.”

“Love is a choice, more than a feeling.”

“[Sharing] moments that I had never shared with anyone else before.  Moments that made me do things I had never done before.”

“Eating Chinese because she wants to, even though you really want Italian.”

“I knew you loved me when you wiped the snot out of my nose in the rain.”

“Once upon a time, there was a boy who loved a girl, and her laughter was a question he wanted to spend his whole life answering.” –Nicole Krauss

“You’re like a song that I heard when I was a little kid but forgot I knew until I heard it again.” –Maggie Stiefvater

“We all have alleys and gardens and secret rooftops and places where daisies sprout between the sidewalk cracks, but most of the time all we let each other see is a postcard glimpse of a skyline or a polished square.  Love lets you find those hidden places in another person, even the ones they didn’t know were there, even the ones they wouldn’t have thought to call beautiful themselves.” –Hilary T. Smith

“With my last breath, I’ll exhale my love for you.  I hope it’s a cold day, so you can see what you meant to me.” –Jarod Kintz

“No relationship is perfect, ever.  There are always some ways you have to bend, to compromise, to give something up in order to gain something greater… The love we have for each other is bigger than these small differences.  And that’s the key.  It’s like a big pie chart, and the love in a relationship has to be the biggest piece.  Love can make up for a lot.” –Sarah Dessen

“It’s nice when grown people whisper to each other under the covers… They are remembering while they whisper… the pears they let hang on the limb because if they plucked them, they would be gone from there and who else would see that ripeness if they took it away for themselves?  How could anybody passing by see them and imagine for themselves what the flavor would be like?” –Toni Morrison

“It was only when I began to feel actual, physical pain every time you left the room that it finally dawned on me: I was in love, for the first time in my life. I knew it was hopeless, but that didn’t matter to me.  And it’s not that I want to have you.  All I want is to deserve you.  Tell me what to do.  Show me how to behave.  I’ll do anything you say.” –Pierre Choderlos de Laclos

“They grew to be so happy that even when they were two worn-out people they kept on blooming, like little children and playing together like dogs.” –Gabriel Garcia Marquez

“Being able to truly care about other people and to sacrifice for them, over and over, in myriad petty little unsexy ways, every day.” –David Foster Wallace


Love seems to be about putting someone else above yourself.  That feeling where you really, truly want that other person to brim over with happiness because their glow is even better than your own.